


Cheers to Stupid Boyfriends

by Shameless_Fujoshi



Category: Free!
Genre: Complaining about boyfriends, Drunk crying, Drunken complaining, M/M, Suggestive positions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-11
Updated: 2013-10-11
Packaged: 2017-12-29 02:26:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,677
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/999766
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shameless_Fujoshi/pseuds/Shameless_Fujoshi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rin and Rei go to a bar, and as the drinks flow so do the complaints they have about their respective boyfriends...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cheers to Stupid Boyfriends

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is the product of a tumblr post started by [Fencer-x](http://archiveofourown.org/users/fencer_x/pseuds/fencer_x). It wouldn't exist without her [post](http://fencer-x.tumblr.com/post/63633724149/shameless-fujoshi-fencer-x) wanting flutterbuddy fanfiction and putting plot ideas in my head. Thanks for letting me steal the idea! <3

**Friday 7:30pm**

Rei was not in the mood to socialize tonight and it had nothing to do with the thick humidity clouding the already congested Tokyo air.

Earlier in the day, just as he was walking to his Aesthetics of Engineering class, his cell phone buzzed in his pocket.

_Wanna grab a drink?_

Usually he’d be thrilled to be invited out by a senpai he regarded so highly, but he’d had a fight with Nagisa-kun earlier in the week and he didn’t want to unload his problems onto Rin-san who surely just wanted company after a long day of training. Haruka-senpai didn’t drink—actually he had once, but that resulted in him nearly drowning—so Rin-san would on occasion request his companionship at a local bar.

After one beer Rei would always loosen up and let his thoughts flow more freely from his mouth. After two his voice would amplify and by then Rin-san always started ordering hard spirits. He didn’t drink often, but when he did his senpai always enticed him into more than he normally would drink even with Nagisa-kun. There were times where Rei hadn’t been sure how he’d gotten home, and one time in particular that he’d deplorably vomited all over a pea plant he kept on the balcony as an experiment for his genetics class.

It was _not_ beautiful.

Of course, Rei could always say no and had now and again. Those nights he’d usually deliver Rin-san to his apartment where Haruka-senpai would roll his eyes and take over.  Although he would grumble, Rei had observed the two during those times and the gentle way Haruka-senpai would tuck him into bed did not suggest someone that was averse to occasionally taking care of a drunk boyfriend. 

He’d also gathered by now that when Rin-san called him out for a drink, it was usually because he’d had a setback in his training or because he was fighting with Haruka-senpai.

Rei prided himself in his ability to lend an ear to troubles. With his distance from a situation and logical view of the world, solutions were always clear in his mind.  It seemed to help Rin-san’s relationship on more than one occasion, and that brought him a considerable amount of joy.

But after his disagreement with Nagisa-kun he wasn’t certain he could give the same level of rationality that he fought so hard to maintain.  And he really didn’t want to head back to his apartment that would undoubtedly be empty, as Nagisa-kun slept at friends’ apartments when they were not seeing eye to eye on matters.

“Hey.”

He’d been so lost in thought that he nearly jumped out of his sandals at the hand that grabbed his shoulder. “R-rin-san!”

“Ah, sorry.” He scratched the back of his neck. “Were you waiting long?”

Rei pushed his glasses further up on his face. “Not at all, I just got here.”

“Okay, let’s go in then.” Rin-san ducked under the noren in the doorway and lead Rei to a table out of the way of the main traffic.  It was only at an establishment like this that was out of the central flux in Tokyo that they could find such good seats on a Friday night. Rin-san called a waitress and per usual, Rei allowed his senpai to dictate their order. Unlike ever before, he started them both off with frosty lagers and whiskey on a ball of ice to chase it.

When the waitress left, before Rei could even open his mouth to inquire about the hasty order (usually they’d drink the hard spirits later), Rin-san shocked him with an answer.

“You’re having boyfriend troubles too, right?”

“ _Huh!?_ ” It was no secret to Rin-san that he and Nagisa-kun were in fact cohabiting in a relationship, but Rei had been certain to put on a strong front as to not worry his senpai over trivial matters like the altercation he’d had with Nagisa-kun. Really, it had been silly, and he was more irritated that Nagisa-kun hadn’t returned his calls nor come home in almost a week than he was at the actual fight.

“Nagisa called me.”

 _Oh, well so much for my veneer,_ Rei thought.

“Besides, you really look like you could use a drink. Might as well bitch about love together, right?”

When he put it that way…

**Friday 7:50pm**

“I’ve been trying to get him to spot for me in the weight room but the bastard keeps getting distracted!” Rin-san was just finishing off his beer and picked up his tumbler of whiskey. “I can’t even count on my hands anymore the number of times I’ve almost broken my arms because he’s got that dazed ‘I want to swim’ look in his eyes.”

Rei swirled the dregs of his beer in his mug as he considered this. “Isn’t Haruka-senpai doing weight training as well?”

His drinking partner scoffed. “Hardly. At first he got into it because I knew exactly what buttons to push.” Rin-san peered down at his glass and picked at the ice ball that was steadily melting. “But now that he’s built some muscle he thinks it’s enough to just train in the pool. I have to practically _beg_ him to spot me off normal training hours so I’m starting to give up on the idea that he might really be taking this Olympics thing seriously.”

“Rin-san…” Rei could relate. He knew what it’s like to love someone and wonder if their intentions were even sincere from their actions. He’d always thought Haruka-senpai’s swimming was a type of human world wonder, but to hear the way Rin-san describes his current drive, Rei wonders if he’s not changed at all. He was certain that if Haruka-senpai followed Rin-san in training that they would keep each other motivated as a beautiful team.

Disappointment has Rei’s shoulders deflating to think that the person that instilled in him the desire to be on the swim team wasn’t taking his training seriously. Of course Rei knew that there was a certain balance any swimmer needed to maintain for maximum results, but the equation for such was not pulling up in his mind promptly.

Rin-san pushed the second glass of whisky toward Rei. “You’re gonna need this. Cheers, to stupid boyfriends.”

Rei smiled and clinked his glass to his senpai’s.

**Friday 8:19pm**

“I really didn’t mean anything by it other than to point out what I _would_ be willing to do.” Rei held his whisky tumbler level with his eyes and watched the ice ball clink against the sides of the glass. “It was an early birthday present since I’m going to be traveling abroad in Canada with my professor in August.”

“Wait a minute. So you bought him _Kama Sutra_ and crossed out all the pages for poses you’re not willing to do!?”

“Sort of.” Rei pushed his glasses up on his nose. “Actually I measured the angles of each of the poses and cross-referenced it to a golden ration theory I’ve adjusted to calculate which of the poses would be the most beautiful. I crossed out all the ones that failed my computation.”

Rin-san looked at him wide-eyed for a moment and then threw his head back in a loud belly laugh, his teeth gleaming. Rei narrowed his eyes, not understanding what was so amusing, especially when all the noise was beginning to get them stares.

“Oh man, I knew there was a reason I ask you to drink with me.” Rin-san grinned and raised his half-empty whisky glass in salute. “Nagisa sure picked a good one. He’d be stupid to let you get away.”

Rei’s took a long sip of his drink to hide his flushed cheeks that were most certainly more red from the compliment than from the alcohol he’d consumed.

**Friday 8:33pm**

“Have you guys tried _the slip_ or ‘s that one of the poses that failed your _test_?” Rin-san called over their waitress again and ordered a round of sour mixes and another bowl of edamame.

Rei couldn’t even look at the woman as she took their order and he wasn’t sure how Rin-san could keep a straight face after asking such an embarrassing question. “N-no, sir, we haven’t!”

“…the hell.  Don’t be so formal with me when we’re drinkin’.” Rin-san rolled his eyes and tipped his glass back to finish off the last of his drink. “’sides, if you got him the book for regular couples that position’s gonna be tough.” He slams his empty glass onto the table, trying to make a point. “For guys like us you have to modify. ‘f you don’t try ‘em out you don’t know how to adjust. Jus’ like swimming!”

Rei thought this over, _really_ thought it over. Perhaps he was too hasty to just go ahead and decide for himself which positions would benefit them. Isn’t the point of such a book to decide _together_ what they like best?  This is what Rei would normally think, if he didn’t have a pint of beer and half a tumbler of whisky in his system.

Instead his thoughts revolved around angles that translated to arms and legs and other body parts that didn’t fit together symmetrically.

“BUT IT’S NOT BEAUTIFUL!” He drops his head to the table, miscalculating in his state and slamming it harder than he’d intended. “Owww…”

Rin-san sniggered. "Think ‘bout it once you’re sober. Right now finish off your whisky ‘cause we got more booze comin’.”

**Friday 8:45pm**

“And…and last week Nagisa-kun tried to get me to twist into this really weird position where he was laying on his stomach and I was squatting over him and I almost pulled a muscle and it was _really_ not beautiful.”

“Fuck off. Haru won’ lemme top unless I beat him at freestyle race! ‘nd he’s gotten a lot faster at it, too!”

**Friday 8:59pm**

“Haru’s got this reaaaaaaally cute mole on his hip.”

“Really!? I never saw it when we were in the swim club! His skin always looked so flawless and beautiful!”

“’t’s too far down to see when he’s got his jammers on.” Rin smirked. “Actually it’s closer to his thigh.” Rei watched his senpai’s face scrunch up before he rested his chin in his hands. “That fuckin’ idiot. Even when he’s cold ‘n silent ‘n only wants to _communicate_ with the water…”

Rei could feel it; Rin didn’t even have to tell him, but he did anyway.

“I love everything ‘bout that jackass.” He watched as tears began to form and then slide down Rin’s face. It was like watching someone yawn because Rei could feel a pressure building behind his own eyes.

Rei clutched Rin’s hands. “I know how you feel!” He couldn’t even see his drinking partner anymore because his tears were clinging to the lenses of his glasses. “Nagisa-kun teases me until I think I might die but I can’t imagine a life without his beautiful smile!”

Rin hiccoughed and pressed his forehead against the table. He pulled out his phone and after fumbling a few times managed to get his boyfriend on the line. “Haruuuuuuu, ‘m sorry I told ya I peed in the ocean when I was a kiiiiiiid! Willya forgive me noooow?” Rei giggled and pounded the table with his fist, imagining what Haruka-senpai’s face must look like at the other end of the phone.

But in his mind that image morphed into a smaller, rounder, face with a smile as bright as the sun.

Sniffling, he lifted his drink to take a sip but dropped the glass back to the table when sobs began to bubble up in his throat again. “Nagisa-kun is so byuuutiful!”

They were starting to draw an audience, but neither of them noticed.

**Friday 9:30pm**

“I apologize for the inconvenience,” Haruka-senpai said, bowing as best he could to the bar owner with a drunk Rin-san hanging on his shoulders.

“Haruuuuu, kiss meeeeeeeee.”

Rei’s buzz was beginning to fade the slightest bit as he followed Haruka-senpai and Rin-san out of the bar and down the street to the station where a row of taxis would be parked.

“I’m not kissing you out here!” Although Rei had to focus more intently on each step he made, Rin-san could barely walk without Haruka-senpai’s help. It was a good thing Rin-san had called him.  Haruka-senpai had managed to discern the bar they were frequenting and came to pick him up. Rei was certain he wouldn’t be able to carry Rin-san to the station in his current state.

 “’s okay…still love youuu.” Haruka-senpai jerked up when he heard this but kept walking forward. Rei could see his neck turn red.

“I told you not to say that so often, it’s _embarrassing_ ,” he grumbled. Finally they reached the station and Rin-san was thrown into the first open taxi. Rei straightened up when Haruka-senpai looked him in the eyes. “You have enough money to get home?”

“Y-yes!”  He wasn’t sure if maybe his vision was off due to the alcohol but he thought the dark-haired man smiled at him. “Please allow me to pay for my portion of the bill!”

“No, don’t worry about it.” Haruka-senpai stopped him before Rei could grab for his wallet. “Consider it my apology for listening to this selfish guy’s whining.”

“Oh no, it was quite mutual!” Rei almost fell over as he tried to stand up taller.

“Haruuuuuu!” Rin-san barked from the taxi. “C’monnnn!”

“Are you okay to get home?” he asked, and Rei was touched by his senpai’s concern over his well-being.

Rei pushed his glasses up on his face and nodded. “Of course! I’ll leave Rin-san in your care then.”

Haruka-senpai nodded once and turned back to the taxi. “Going out and getting yourself drunk when we have an early time slot for the weight room tomorrow…” Rei couldn’t hear Rin-san’s mumbled response before the door to the taxi swung shut.  Somehow that simple exchange lifted something heavy in his heart. He was happy for them both.

Waving after their departing vehicle, Rei let the smile on his face drop and shuffled to an open taxi door.

He didn’t want to go home to an empty bed.

**Friday 10:00pm**

Upon opening the door to his apartment he was blinded after expecting the place to be pitch dark.

“Rei-chan!”

He wasn’t sure if he was hallucinating, but he _knew_ that was Nagisa-kun’s voice. As he was opening his mouth to respond his stomach lurched, and he ran to the toilet just in time to empty the contents of his stomach.

As he was finishing, feet pattered up behind him and he could feel Nagisa-kun’s body crouched next to his in the cramped space just before he felt fingers stroking his hair. “Did you have fun with Rin-chan? Haru-chan called to tell me where you were.”

Rei’s only response was a groan which made Nagisa giggle.

“Rei-chan you can be really silly sometimes, but that’s what I love about you!”

Finally certain he wouldn’t vomit again for the time being he turned his head at an odd angle to look back at Nagisa. “I was wrong about the book, I’m sorry.”

The blonde blinked a couple of times, face looking bewildered before breaking into a smile. “Nah, that’s okay! It was silly of me to get upset over that.” Even though the vomit was pungent in the air Nagisa-kun leans in to kiss his cheek. “Actually it’s special, right? Because now I know all the positions Rei-chan thinks are the most beautiful!”

Rei worried at the devilish glint in Nagisa’s eye.

“C’mon, let’s get you cleaned up!” Rei allowed himself to be tugged to the shower just across the hall and didn’t even put up a fight when Nagisa-kun stripped them both of their clothes. He let the blonde wash him, managed to brush his own teeth, and after he was tucked under the covers with Nagisa-kun wrapped around his front, he could finally sigh happily into the blonde hair that was attached to the most beautiful person in the world.

**Author's Note:**

> Rin is a lightweight XD
> 
> I wanted to write an omake of Rin complaining about all the things about Haru that annoy him but it started to become too long, so here's a small preview of how their evening went just before they fell asleep:  
> "And your breath stinks because you only eat fish."  
> "Uh-huh."  
> "Your toenails are too long and they scratch my legs when we sleep."  
> "I see."  
> "And that freaky bird thing Iwatobi-chan looks like a pokemon mutation gone wrong."  
> "...!"


End file.
